...so i touched it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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