I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
