so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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