i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
