i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
