$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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