That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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