I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome