you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
