Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (4190) Bad night (968)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (4103) Bad night (1295)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special

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  (941): I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special http://tfl.nu/g9sh
  Replies (11) Good night (5882) Bad night (1083)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (5056) Bad night (1077)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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  (740): He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker. http://tfl.nu/ldq8
  Replies (18) Good night (3776) Bad night (1964)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night

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  (609): Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/7184
  Replies (17) Good night (5220) Bad night (1244)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1886) Bad night (958)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

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  (937): think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside. http://tfl.nu/fjz3
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (769)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.

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  (614): The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception. http://tfl.nu/6prr
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (381)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (355)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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  (256): It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!' http://tfl.nu/6btj
  Replies (6) Good night (1384) Bad night (371)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  ...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..

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  (815): ...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour.. http://tfl.nu/q3x4
  Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (400)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?

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  (501): okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy? http://tfl.nu/u6yi
  Replies (7) Good night (809) Bad night (193)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.

  (1-714): View more from California

  DAD WTF

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  (714): I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning. (1-714): DAD WTF http://tfl.nu/ld6i
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (527)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  "This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"

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  (425): "This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time" http://tfl.nu/p8pq
  Replies (1) Good night (177) Bad night (141)

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