can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
