I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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