$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity