She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?