So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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