Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.