I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize