1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had to cum in my sink.
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