Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.