i always forget guys have bellybuttons
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
