Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.