Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i wish my penis had a tongue
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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