You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
