You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
