Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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