He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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