no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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