I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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