Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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