If that was your dad, he is hot
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
