At least make sure they are 18
Why
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
