Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
