Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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