I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize