you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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