she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
