i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
