You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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