She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i now understand why vodka
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
