just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
