If i could tip my vagina, i would.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
