I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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