So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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