toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
