road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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