She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize