Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
