Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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