FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize