ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
