is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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