so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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