Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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