do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
