If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
