just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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