On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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