you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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