Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
