i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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