If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
