Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
