i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
