Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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