that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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