Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
